ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Drunk is a universal language darling
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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