Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
