Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
