to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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