Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
