Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
