Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
