What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
