closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
