Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
people are starting to question the shark bite story
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
