Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
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I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
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Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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