I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
