arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
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Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
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Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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