You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
