Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
