..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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