it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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