chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize