Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
