my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
