Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Randomize
