No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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