Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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