I am puke
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
