I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
