You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
