We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
