If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
