Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Randomize
