I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
