I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
