forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
