For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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