she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
