Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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