listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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