I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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