so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
either way he was missing a nipple.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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