Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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