I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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