Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
