I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
