So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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