If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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