butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
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so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
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You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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