to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
