____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize