I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
