oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
