You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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