you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
