Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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