Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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