my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
