he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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