This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
