What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
