something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You've changed since you got that strap on
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
