I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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